Kita bersama, ketawa berdua, gembira,
dan bila ku terjaga ku sedar
bahawa kau tiada di sisi.
Dan semua yang indah bertukar jadi sunyi sepi.
My juniors are currently pretty upset about their friends leaving for boarding school. This reminds me of last year when I went to Abu Dhabi to visit Daddy, only to come back to the news of Syah leaving me. I was pretty much devastated. I don't know, I guess I've always been clingy. Maybe you're right then, Syah.
But then again I've always loved with all my heart. And my ex was my first love, and I gave in everything with that. He was like my air, and when parted, it felt like I was lacking air. Gets hard for me to breathe. You get the idea.
Then my good friend Zaty asked me to listen to this song by The Manchis, called Nanti. And the above is part of the lyrics of the song, and on that afternoon I cried like I never had before. Then everything was better, but then things gradually got worse. And now here I am, sitting here reliving these moments because my juniors are living them, alone relationship-wise, while my first love has found another love.
And the lyrics are still in my phone, in my Sent Messages folder, sent to Syah on 9th February 2009 at 13:44.
You know, I'd really like to believe that I am strong.
P/S: "I breathed in everything around me: the sea grass, the minty blue sky, the beach, the roaring ocean. But mostly I breathed in Matthew Harrison you, held him there, and never wanted to exhale."
P/P/S: Good luck juniors. I know exactly how you feel.
